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~ Bath Sundries ~
Simply delicious, home made bath &
body treats!
Never,
ever tested on animals! That would be silly.
Our
fragrance list is at the
bottom of this page or
click
me to open the
list in a separate window!
The
rather
small
print: Bath
orders generally take 7-12 business days to process and
make. You
will receive a shipping confirmation email when your order is
ready to ship. Orders outside of the USA are gladly accepted, but are
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shipping costs right now. For orders to be shipped outside of the USA,
please
email me your order and location and I will email your a payment
invoice. I am happy to provide a shipping quote for international
orders prior to your order. Once an order is placed,
no changes or substitutions may be made.
Due to the nature of these
items, there are no returns, refunds or exchanges.
US shipping rates are as follows:
$0.00-$50.00: $5.50
$50.01-$99.99: $8.50
$100.00 and up:$12.50.
Orders are shipped via USPS Priority Mail.
International orders are shipped Air Mail or Priority Mail.
US shipping rates are as follows:
$0.00-$50.00: $5.50
$50.01-$99.99: $8.50
$100.00 and up:$12.50.
Orders are shipped via USPS Priority Mail.
International orders are shipped Air Mail or Priority Mail.
Droplettes
Droplettes
are
Blooddrop's
hand-blended perfume oils. They can be used on the skin as a
traditional scent, mixed into your favorite body product or used as a
room scent. Scents are made with a jojoba oil base and sold in 1 or 2
dram bottles with screw cap or in sample size Please
see the scent list
below.
Purchase Droplettes 1 dram bottle, $7.00 Purchase Droplettes 2 dram bottle, $13.00 Purchase Droplettes Sample size, 1/32oz. (1/4 dram) vial, $2.50
Mousse de Bain
Blooddrop's Mousse de Bain (bath mousse) is above and beyond from your ordinary shower soap or gel. This body wash is the consistency of thick, onctuous whipped cream (and I really do whip it!) and is incredibly decadent. You might have a hard time going back to bar or gel soap after you try this! It has rich cocoa and mango butter to sweetly kiss and nourish your skin. Because this Mousse is so creamy, it is low in foaming agents, which your skin will thank you for. You may order this in any of the scents listed below or unscented. Sold in an 8 ounce jar with screw top. Seriously, try this. It's amazing in any of the foody/gourmande fragrances!!
Purchase Mousse de Bain 8 ounce jar, $14.50
Gel Moussant
(photo to come)
Blooddrop's Gel Moussant (Foaming Gel) is a two-in-one product. It serves as both a gel body wash and also as a bubble bath! It is not an overly drying gel, so your skin will not be stripped of its natural oils. Because of this, when using the Gel Moussant as a bubble bath, you might need a bit more of it than with other bubble bath's, but the trade off is worth it where your skin is concerned. You may order this is any of the scents below or unscented. Available in an 8 ounce or 4 ounce bottle.
Purchase Gel Moussant 8 ounce bottle, $12.00
Purchase Gel Moussant 4 ounce bottle, $7.50
Sels de Bain
Blooddrop's relaxing and moisturizing bath salts. I've make these with a combination of large sea salt crystals, smaller pulverized sea salt crystals and finely shaved cocoa butter! Add a few tablespoons to your bath, plunk yourself in and enjoy! You may order these in with any of the scents below or unscented!
Sold in an 8 ounce jar with screw top. Please see the scent list below.
Purchase Sels de Bain 8 ounce jar, $7.00
Beurre de Bain
Blooddrop's Beurre de Bain (bath butter) is great in the bath tub, but just as usable in the shower. The bath butter is a solid "butter" stick made of cocoa and shea butter and is a wonderful way to hydrate and soften the skin. After you have done your normal soaping up, dunk it in your bath water or run it under the shower to soften it up a bit and apply to whatever areas of the body need a little extra attention. Use it as often as you'd like for really itchy and dry skin. You may order this in any of the scents below or unscented! Presented in a clear push up stick that holds approximately 2.5 ounces solid weight (imagine about half the size of a stick of real butter). Please see the scent list below.
PLEASE NOTE: This item may melt during shipping transit during the warmer months. Order at your own risk during the warm season. If item is ordered during warmer months, item will be frozen prior to shipment to preserve solidity. Freezing will not harm the product and item will slowly thaw out on its own.
Purchase Beurre de Bain 2.5 ounce stick, $6.00
Glisten
(photo to come)
Glisten is Blooddrop’s multi-use spray! It’s primary use is on the hair to add shine on dry hair, as a light detangler on wet hair, and as a frizz and static tamer. Whatever scent you choose, Glisten will gloriously waft around your head! It’s also great as a body spray and leaves your skin feeling powdery dry not oily. One more use is as a fabric and room freshener. Note: use sparingly on hair until you determine how much is just right for your locks. A little can go a long way! Sold in a one ounce bottle with an extra fine mist spray pump. You may order Glisten in any of the scents below.
Purchase Glisten 1 ounce spray, $6.00
Crème de la Crème
(photo to come)
Blooddrop's Crème de la Crème (cream of the creams) is our ultra thick, ultra luxurious yogurt skin cream. Thick, yet wonderfully absorbant. It's great for hands or any part of the body. If you're looking for a decadent cream for year round or something extra for the cold months, this is it! You may order this is any of the scents below or unscented. Presented in a 4 ounce or 2 ounce jar.
Purchase Creme de la Creme 4 ounce jar, $12.00
Purchase Crème de la Crème 2 ounce jar, $6.50
Lotion de Soja
(photo to come)
Blooddrop's Lotion de Soja (soy lotion) is our medium weight, nourishing and all purpose body lotion. Not only does it contain soy, but it is also going to feed your skin with jojoba, cocoa butter and vitamines A and E. It is thick enough so that it also leaves a gentle protective layer on the skin without feeling too greasy or goopy. Great on all parts of the body, after the shower or bath, before bed or as a quick repair fix in the middle of the day. You may order this is any of the scents below or unscented. Presented in a 4 ounce or 2 ounce bottle.
Purchase Lotion de Soja 4 ounce bottle, $9.00
Purchase Lotion de Soja 2 ounce bottle, $5.50
Purchase Droplettes 1 dram bottle, $7.00 Purchase Droplettes 2 dram bottle, $13.00 Purchase Droplettes Sample size, 1/32oz. (1/4 dram) vial, $2.50
Mousse de Bain
Blooddrop's Mousse de Bain (bath mousse) is above and beyond from your ordinary shower soap or gel. This body wash is the consistency of thick, onctuous whipped cream (and I really do whip it!) and is incredibly decadent. You might have a hard time going back to bar or gel soap after you try this! It has rich cocoa and mango butter to sweetly kiss and nourish your skin. Because this Mousse is so creamy, it is low in foaming agents, which your skin will thank you for. You may order this in any of the scents listed below or unscented. Sold in an 8 ounce jar with screw top. Seriously, try this. It's amazing in any of the foody/gourmande fragrances!!
Purchase Mousse de Bain 8 ounce jar, $14.50
Gel Moussant
(photo to come)
Blooddrop's Gel Moussant (Foaming Gel) is a two-in-one product. It serves as both a gel body wash and also as a bubble bath! It is not an overly drying gel, so your skin will not be stripped of its natural oils. Because of this, when using the Gel Moussant as a bubble bath, you might need a bit more of it than with other bubble bath's, but the trade off is worth it where your skin is concerned. You may order this is any of the scents below or unscented. Available in an 8 ounce or 4 ounce bottle.
Purchase Gel Moussant 8 ounce bottle, $12.00
Purchase Gel Moussant 4 ounce bottle, $7.50
Sels de Bain
Blooddrop's relaxing and moisturizing bath salts. I've make these with a combination of large sea salt crystals, smaller pulverized sea salt crystals and finely shaved cocoa butter! Add a few tablespoons to your bath, plunk yourself in and enjoy! You may order these in with any of the scents below or unscented!
Sold in an 8 ounce jar with screw top. Please see the scent list below.
Purchase Sels de Bain 8 ounce jar, $7.00
Beurre de Bain
Blooddrop's Beurre de Bain (bath butter) is great in the bath tub, but just as usable in the shower. The bath butter is a solid "butter" stick made of cocoa and shea butter and is a wonderful way to hydrate and soften the skin. After you have done your normal soaping up, dunk it in your bath water or run it under the shower to soften it up a bit and apply to whatever areas of the body need a little extra attention. Use it as often as you'd like for really itchy and dry skin. You may order this in any of the scents below or unscented! Presented in a clear push up stick that holds approximately 2.5 ounces solid weight (imagine about half the size of a stick of real butter). Please see the scent list below.
PLEASE NOTE: This item may melt during shipping transit during the warmer months. Order at your own risk during the warm season. If item is ordered during warmer months, item will be frozen prior to shipment to preserve solidity. Freezing will not harm the product and item will slowly thaw out on its own.
Purchase Beurre de Bain 2.5 ounce stick, $6.00
Glisten
(photo to come)
Glisten is Blooddrop’s multi-use spray! It’s primary use is on the hair to add shine on dry hair, as a light detangler on wet hair, and as a frizz and static tamer. Whatever scent you choose, Glisten will gloriously waft around your head! It’s also great as a body spray and leaves your skin feeling powdery dry not oily. One more use is as a fabric and room freshener. Note: use sparingly on hair until you determine how much is just right for your locks. A little can go a long way! Sold in a one ounce bottle with an extra fine mist spray pump. You may order Glisten in any of the scents below.
Purchase Glisten 1 ounce spray, $6.00
Crème de la Crème
(photo to come)
Blooddrop's Crème de la Crème (cream of the creams) is our ultra thick, ultra luxurious yogurt skin cream. Thick, yet wonderfully absorbant. It's great for hands or any part of the body. If you're looking for a decadent cream for year round or something extra for the cold months, this is it! You may order this is any of the scents below or unscented. Presented in a 4 ounce or 2 ounce jar.
Purchase Creme de la Creme 4 ounce jar, $12.00
Purchase Crème de la Crème 2 ounce jar, $6.50
Lotion de Soja
(photo to come)
Blooddrop's Lotion de Soja (soy lotion) is our medium weight, nourishing and all purpose body lotion. Not only does it contain soy, but it is also going to feed your skin with jojoba, cocoa butter and vitamines A and E. It is thick enough so that it also leaves a gentle protective layer on the skin without feeling too greasy or goopy. Great on all parts of the body, after the shower or bath, before bed or as a quick repair fix in the middle of the day. You may order this is any of the scents below or unscented. Presented in a 4 ounce or 2 ounce bottle.
Purchase Lotion de Soja 4 ounce bottle, $9.00
Purchase Lotion de Soja 2 ounce bottle, $5.50
Bisou
(photo to come)
Blooddrop's Bisou (kiss) is a kiss for your lips! This wonderful soy lip balm is un-cakey, moisturizing lippy goodness. No flavoring keeps this product simple and kind. Sold in a 0.15 ounce jar.
Purchase Bisou 0.15 ounce jar, $3.50 - OUT OF STOCK
The Scent List
~Blooddrop Limited Edition series for Spring 2008~
Recovered from a Journal of a Young Lady by the Name of A. A. Healdsome
Entry Date: 18 March
Blast! Bugger!
If only I had poisoned the tea cup instead, I would have finally succeeded and inherited the coveted conch shell collection that Grandfather put together from all his island trips and I could have finally had enough money to emancipate myself! I am so angry!!! They forced me to spend sometime walking outside in the garden while all the loathsome flowers and their obnoxious perfect spring blooms sneered at me and my failed attempt. I honestly swear that if I had been strong enough I would have pushed those giant, oriental urns over,, rolled them down the pathway and crushed every single one of those stupid flowers! I must stop myself from these pointless distractions. I must focus on tomorrow. Perhaps I could lure away Mrs. R. from the kitchen and taint the afternoon cakes with something. But what? I must learn more about poisons! I must stop being so hasty. Plus, I really like those cakes. I have some time. I’m only 10 and not a soul suspects a thing. Yes! Tomorrow, I will ask to be taken to the library and do a little reading about you-know-what for you-know-who. I will write more tomorrow and write if I found out anything of importance.
Signed,
-- l’Empoisonneuse Extraordinaire
The (un)Poisoned Tea Cup
Fortunately for the drinker, this cup of pomegranate black tea was left unscathed.
The Coveted Conch Shell Collection
Not stinky, fetid or seaweed-ridden, but recollections of A. A.’s grandfather’s voyages to lush isles with scantily clad isles-folk and perhaps an encounter or two that A. A.’s grandmother would have had a heart attack over if she’d had found out about them. Papaya, fresh orange pulp, neroli and green coconut.
Obnoxious, Perfect Spring Blooms
Pushing through slowly thawing dirt and unraveling tree buds, an offering of some of the first of the long-awaited blooms: daffodil, hyacinth, freesia, lily of the valley and lilac. These blooms were really only minding their own business.
Giant, Oriental Urns
Grandfather’s father’s father’s brother brought these back from one of his trips on a trade ship with no inention of having a young lady use them for flower crushing. Their fragrance is the beautiful scent of Asian plum blossom, vetiver, chrysanthemum and frangipani.
Taint the Afternoon Cakes
Mrs. R. makes fig cakes for tea which are fit for a king, queen, princess or, in our case, a creative, naughty girl! The recipe comes from the kitchen of Versailles but, apparently they were so good, they never made it to the Court since they were eaten by royal help along the way. Mrs. R carries her afternoon cakes in personally. Golden moist cake with figs, brown sugar and graham.
L’Empoisonneuse Extraordinaire
Maybe one day, but for now, A. A.’s still day-dreaming about being an emancipated, extraordinary poisoner. But, if she really were an empoisoneuse extraordinaire, her scent might be a little like this poison-y, green, sweet, esoteric concoction: green apples, patchouli, mullein and ginger.
The above limited edition fragrances will be available until the end of May or so.
Antebellum
Why I do declare! ‘Tis a mighty warm evening’ sittin’ here on the porch! A hot summer southern evening thick with fragrant perfume. Ripe round tree fruits and blossoms, creeping honeysuckle, careless wisteria and lilac.
Apparition
A ghostly feminine presence. Chilling rustles of silk and petticoats wafting a faint breath of slightly sweetened florals of a well-traveled lady. Her scent is as mysterious as her veiled presence.
At Denny’s After Rocky
The usual food trip after the RHPS brings a group of all sorts: some Goths, some SCA-ers and Gamers, the really odd old guy who still might live in his mom’s basement and that really hot guy you’re too shy to talk to. The selection of meals ordered was just as bizarre as the people, but one favorite was blueberry pancakes with blueberry syrup and maple syrup!
Bardot
In honor of the brassy French actress, now fervent animal rights activist Brigitte Bardot. In addition to always having great hair, Mme. Bardot has been an extremely important figure behind the legislation that has instituted laws for more humane treatment of animals that are destined for human consuption in France. A deep, vigorous and mature fragrance. Cassia, bitter dark cacao, riz de Basmati, honey, patchouli and pink peppercorn.
Belle Cavaliere
A ride through an English garden. Light and airy florals with leather.
Bisou
Crème de Cassis, crème brulèe, vanilla bean and brown sugar. This is a bit hard to resist.
Buche de Noel
A traditional French desert for le Reveillon de Noel. Insanely decadent and delicious! Hazelnuts, Grand Marnier, genoise, vanille and chocolate.
Bonne Nuit
A soft gentle bedtime scent. Powdered blossoms, spun sugar, lavender and a kiss of vanilla.
Broomstick
Sweet summer apricots, crisp early fall red apples, moist spice cake, clove and brown sugar. Just some of the things any good witch will have in her pantry!
Cafe Zazou
Incredible dark and smooth French roast coffee with whole milk and two sugar cubes, a piece of dark chocolate and a petit gateau sec au marrons. Café Zazou is the perfect response for a little afternoon rest in between visiting Monmartre and Le Centre Pompidou.
Cavity Creeps
Your teeth will ache just smelling this one! Bakery sweets galore: chocolate chip cookies, ice cream and sugar sweetened oatmeal spice bars.
Chevalier
Created with the gallant knight in shining armor in mind, but certainly wearable for the striking Amazon. Amber, vanilla, rum, Linden, peppercorn and red Egyptian musk.
Citrouille
Pumpkin, complementing spices, creams and fresh autumn apple.
Country Bumpkin
A bouquet of peonies, the warm scent of rolled oats and a can of orange pop.
Cutie Patootie
Watermelon, pineapple, pear, lemon and sweet orange all mooshed together to make an ultimate sweet candy scent!
Delicieuse
Thick and sultry honey and vanilla with a sassy kiss of peppermint.
Devonshire Cottage
A quaint stone farm house with a view of the wild ponies. A bountiful bouquet of herbs from the garden, creeping ivy, and a gentle base of clotted cream, sugar and condensed milk.
Doe Eyes
Velvety soft. Warm. Gentle. Kind. Big sweet eyes. Vanilla with a pinch of cozy spices, amber, and tiny woodland blossom.
Eiffel Tower
Amber, fig, peach, caramel and oak moss blended to create a very chic, glamorous and elegant scent preferably while wearing heels.
Festival of Light
Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu l'hadlik neir (shel) chanukah. ("Praised are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe, Who sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us to kindle the Hanukkah lights.") To honor my husband’s family’s tradition, I wanted to create a Hanukkah scent. This is my favorite Jewish holiday, not for the eight days of gift-giving, but because I enjoy lighting the candles on the menorah each night so much! I created a warm, glowing, ‘golden-orange’ blend with amber, tangerine, honey and a touch of vanilla.
Frida
Red wines sweetened with fruits and a branch of mimosa to tuck behind your ear.
Garden Hoe
With dirty knees and finger nails, sun burnt shoulders and nose you’re just happy to be outside in your garden! Tomato leaf, green bean vines, lettuce and a bit of earthiness for nourishment. No pesticides included.
Hubba Hubba
Hot damn! Whoohoo! Wink, wink. How the heck do you type “sexy whistle?!” A wonderfully sassy and sexy scent. Effervescent ginger ale, mouth puckering cinnamon red hots, black tea and a cheeky sweet muffin!
Happy Birthday
Chocolate cupcakes with vanilla frosting and vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting! Great little scent to offer as a birthday gift to a friend. If specified and time allows, I can personalize this bottle to say “Happy Birthday, (insert name)!”
I had a Pony
Fresh and crisp apples, carrots, sweet feed and a flake of hay.
Josephine
My little tribute to the fabulous Josephine Baker and her banana skirt. bananas, French vanilla (mais oui!), giant yellow sunflowers and exotic spice.
Killing Time in Taipei
Not quite cold enough, but better than nothing iced tea with a plate of strange, other-worldy fruit.
L’Shana Tova
May your have a sweet new year! Apples and honey.
Les Ecailles
Green, leafy, and gender-neutral. Basil, fresh ginger, green tea, stephanotis and cucumber.
Les Madeleines
Really, these should be France’s national “goûter” cake. Madeleines are little vanilla cakes infused with orange blossom water. They are baked in a special pan that forms them in the shape of little shells. My husband fell in love with them when I took him to visit my family in Brittany.
Luna Moth
Giant, nighttime butterfly in all her iridescent and ethereal beauty against a full moon’s glow. Luminescent whites and the palest green shimmer. Bamboo, lettuce, a white trio of tea, ginger and musk plus a sliver of lime.
Miss Trixie
Tart white grapefruit pinched with rosemary, pink grapefruit and pear tempered with the sweet nectar of the passion flower.
Peau
Sun-kissed, fruit-kissed and earth-kissed skin. Mango, ginger, aloe, noix de coco and papaya.
Printemps
Cheerful, crisp and sweet. Unusual tropical fruits such as star fruit, commonly delicious raspberry and fresh cucumber.
Ruffles, Bustles & Corsets
A gathering of ladies for an afternoon tea. White orchids, sprigs of lavender and petite vanilla butter cream frosted lemon pastries.
Said the Spider to the Fly
A lovely unsuspecting scent. Gardenia, apple blossom, aloe, and China musk.
Schicksappeal
Oy vey, what she’s got that we don’t?! Schicksa-appeal, baby! A sparkling, bright, clean and just-ever-so-slightly unorthodox blend of green tea, wisteria, ginger ale, sweet grass and a paper thin slice of kiwi.
Scurvy Girl
Arr! This wench be no victim to ye sea vermin o’scurvy! At the last isle the crew set foot upon, she gathered up 7 varieties of citrus fruits with her skirt to hold ‘em all in and didn’t share a single one with any o’ them sea dogs she bloody has to sail with on the bloomin’ brine-crusted raft they call a ship. Ship, me arse!
Second Cousin
This family likes to be extra close! Watermelon, honeysuckle and sweet, irresistible vanilla cream.
Soleil
A light, fresh sunshine scent with peach blossom, tangerine and sunflower.
Star Light, Star Bright
A bouquet of white scents. Milk, cala lily, noix de coco, chamomile flowers and white angel food cupcakes.
La Thailandaise
Lemongrass tempered with luscious lilac.
Totally Mental, The Series
If your therapist moves out of town or you run out of sessions for the year with your insurance provider or you can’t find a therapist that’s better than talking to a potato, here’s a possible treatment option for your woes! Please note: these scents are meant in good spirit. The creatrice of these scents has spent many years in therapy herself!
Therapy
Coffee ice cream with soft squishy brownies mixed in.
Let’s Talk about your Mother
Strawberries soaked in white sugar and red wine.
Sigh
Incredibly soothing herbal tea with rose, mimosa and honey.
Drowning My Sorrows
Italian sparkling wine with notes of pineapple, peppercorn, sweet grass and a soupçon of lemon.
Coffee ice cream with soft squishy brownies mixed in.
Let’s Talk about your Mother
Strawberries soaked in white sugar and red wine.
Sigh
Incredibly soothing herbal tea with rose, mimosa and honey.
Drowning My Sorrows
Italian sparkling wine with notes of pineapple, peppercorn, sweet grass and a soupçon of lemon.
Translucent
Clear, clean and transparent. White musk, white tea, Lily of the Valley, an inkling of cucumber and an even slighter inkling of raspberry and lemon.
Unlikely
Moonflower, cucumber, lily asiatique, fig and wisteria. Gentle and fresh.
White Pumpkin
The ghostly vegetable in your garden! Pumpkin with white tea and coconut.
Yellow Kimono
Bright and fresh. Tea, yuzu, pink grapefruit, lemon and a wee bit of pineapple.
The Zodiac Club
I absolutely loved the Zodiac Club in the movie “Bell, Book and Candle.” My husband and I said if we ever opened up our own club, that’s what it would be called. So in honor of the bar we probably won’t ever open, I’ve created this scent. A melange of the esoteric and bohemian: ginger, peppercorn, a backdrop of smoke and sweetened clove cigarettes.
The Possibly Not So Accurate
Historical Liquids for An Assortment of Dis-Eases:
Historical Liquids for An Assortment of Dis-Eases:
Empress Ming Li Zho’s Sparkling Infusion for Happy Brightness
In a former life as a Zen monk some good 528 years ago or more, I lived in a very, very small region of China. It was a very lush and peaceful place that had a very, very dainty Empress to govern the land, which as I mentioned was very, very small and did not extend beyond the two mountains that cradled the valley of the region. Empress Ming Li Zho was an only child and her parents passed away when she was very young. Although she was raised by kind hearted people of the court, Empress Ming Li Zho missed her parents dearly and named a pair of red pandas after them. As she grew up, but not very much since she was very, very dainty and hence quite petite in size, she paid particular attention to other children who had also lost their parents (or other beloved things) and were having a difficult time smiling or knowing joy. She inquired with some local healers who sent her to the nearly coo-coo old man who did not live in a cave, but in a hole in the ground, who then sent her to talk to the yellow birds in the blue trees who, in turn, chirped a little song about happiness. The Empress translated a recipe from this song. It was the Sparkling Infusion for Happy Brightness. She shared it freely with all and sometimes used it herself on days when she felt she could use a little cheering up: a blend of two gingers, a few pressed leaves of mint and a very, very small piece of crushed lemongrass.
Frau Von Schtinklestein’s Partially Completed Barvarian Love Essence
Yes, it is true that Frau Von Schtinklestein never finished completing this recipe due to her unexpected passing with a bout of scurvy that her husband brought home with him after his long trip on the cold dark Arctic waters searching for the elusive Long-Haired Snowy Whale. In fact, she was creating this Love Essence as a means to keep him closer to home, instead of on the high seas that would hold on to him and his ship for months, sometimes years, at a time. While she did very much enjoy having the stone manor for herself, she found she would also be fraught with anxiety on odd numbered days with no one to tell her jokes to. Her three Guernsey cows never said much, but to chew their cud and the daisies in the garden. A young niece came across Mrs. Von Schtinklestein’s notes and decided to make this oil available anyway. Even if it worked halfway, it was better than not at all! A dessert lovingly made for two: pears poached in vanilla and then caramelized in brown sugar.
Lady Poppycock’s Peculiar Tincture of Questionable Origins
The origin of this oil is a long mystery filled with doubts to its beginnings and how the exact recipe came about. However, it claims to bring bright cheer and the tiniest swell of good luck to the wearer as well as to those who treat the wearer kindly. It is important to note that the wearer of Lady Poppycock’s Peculiar Tincture of Questionable Origins may find herself with kittens following her right up to the doorstep of her home and into the parlor for company and bits of greenery, so it is recommended that the wearer have at least one sprig of catnip at home at all times. Lemongrass, bubblegum, Lily of the Valley and exactly two point three hundred and eighty-two raspberries.
Madame Pompidou’s Elixir Secret pour les Malaises et Crises du Coeur
Passed on to me by my great, great grandmother whom I have never met, Madame Soupiron, this recipe was perfected by the grand Madame Pompidou in 1762. Although believed by the world and French men to be only available to very high class French ladies, in fact all French women have been using this not so secret (to French women, that is) elixir for ages, even prior to the perfected formulation by Mme. Pompidou. This oil is used for any sort of woes of the heart or spirit such as results from tripping in public places, bouchers who sell you the wrong cut of meat, mail that is damaged by the mice in your courier box, any day that ends by being qualifiably described as en merdant, being jilted by a so-called friend or lover or simply getting a hole in one’s stockings or breaking the laces in your corset. Chocolate, mousse au chocolat, various friandises au chocolat and any singular or mix of cordials or liquers remaining in the cabinet in the pantry that you have not already finished off. This fabuleux cure-all will brush all your malaises and crises away!
Mrs. Mary Picklelee’s
Uproarious Bottled Bouquet For the Bitter and Bored Widow
(Also equally suited for the bland and sullen old maid.)
Mrs. Picklee began enjoying life very late. Often the term “Merry Widow” would be applied to her despite no one really knowing just what type of undergarments she wore. It simply took Mrs. Picklee a long time to come into her own. In fact, it took her 78 years and two days. At midnight on the second day after her 78th birthday, she sat upright in bed as if a very, very, very fat cat had jumped from the top of the bookshelf next to her bed, right straight down on to Mrs. Picklee’s stomach. That didn’t happen, but that’s how suddenly she woke up. When she did she, she suddenly thought about how cranky and bitter she had become by having spent her entire life (so far) taking care of everyone but herself. Now that her husband was dead and she had no children or family members to tend to, it was high time to start having an uproariously good time. It had to be uproarious since she had a lot of catching up to do good time-wise. Mrs. Picklee’s bottled bouquet is an effervescent and bright blend of red currant, lemon verbena, pear and moonflower.